Transformers: Titans Return Skullcruncher

So, here it is: the first Titans Return review on the Coffin. Reports on these toys have been showing up for two months now, so this is hardly a breaking story; but, as I hope to show this weekend, I’ve gotten a bunch of new things in September, but work has kept me from doing anything fun.

For those who would object to my referring to the figure as his G1 name of Skullcruncher instead of the neologism SkullSMASHER, my condolences and deep, deep apathy.

I think, honestly, Titans Return Skullcruncher was the first image of a toy from the new line that caught my attention, a year and a half ago or whenever the line was first announced. While never having much in the way of characters or screen time to latch on to, the Decepticon Headmasters were always interesting to me. Back in the 80’s when they first appeared, their Headmaster partners were labelled as “trainers” for the beast moded robots, and I always liked that. Many, many years later I’d hunt down the three original and three Headmaster Junior figures for my collection and watch “The Headmasters” cartoon and kinda like the characters a bit. Now, I’m happy for the chance to add some Headmaster characters to my collection, but I still don’t have a deep attachment to the characters.

Dating back to G1, Skullcruncher was the most basic of the Decepticon Headmasters. His transformation scheme was an exceedingly simple “flip the rear of the animal down for legs” deal, a trait that would persist through beast mode toys essentially to the present day. This 2016 version preserves that original scheme very faithfully, the only real difference being a pretty interesting robot shoulders/alligator forelegs change, where the shoulders fold upwards and inwards, forming the alligator neck essentially. The robot forearms and biceps both swivel around as well. This is a fairly interesting design, as it gives the alligator forelegs that splayed arrangement that looks kind of alligatory.

Skullcruncher is  LONG alligator, large for a Deluxe class figure in alt mode, and segmented in three places – behind the head and at the start of the tail – to allow for some animal mode posing. The figure looks really good, cast in the deep hot pink and green of the original. Of particular note is the alligator mouth, which has a ton of detail sculpted into it, including a tongue. The gator head in general is good looking. The weapon load is a blaster and a tail thing: the back portion of the gator is a detachable tail piece that seems to be trying to recreate the tail sword that came with the G1 figure. But it has a peg that flips up on the top side of it, which allows the robot to hold it upside down, for some reason. It doesn’t do anything, it’s not a shield or sword; but there is a place on it for a Titanmaster to sit, for whatever reason. The blaster can be mounted inside the tail so maybe it’s a gun emplacement or something . . . that a robot would hold and run around with . . . ? Fortunately, the tail piece will plug into a hole on the underside of the alligator head, giving Skullcruncher an enormous backpack, but getting the tail piece out of the way. The Titanmaster can also sit inside a compartment on the alligators’ back, so the poor guy no longer has to ride around inside the mouth of a pretty doltish robot whose signature gimmick canonically is eating the bodies of his vanquished foes.

A far more comfortable seat than before

This is a very detailed figure. Paint apps along the abdomen of the alligator mimic stickers on the G1 version, and the chest panel looks exactly like the G1 version. For those not familiar, the G1 Headmasters came with a built in tech spec readout, located behind a flip down panel on their chest. The readout provided general stats on a robots speed, intelligence and strength; inserting the Headmaster would roll little wheels which would then display this vital information. In the 80s, this was a big deal. The function is no longer present, which is fine, but the fact that the panels are molded into the bodies is very pleasant. These tech spec readers would up limiting the things that the G1 figures were actually able to do, and the Headmasters are more bricks than most G1 toys, even by G1 standards static blocks. It’s the issue with gimmicks, and why so many collectors end up disliking them: they are tough to integrate into the toy without costing something.

Tech specs this time around are contained on a high quality card packaged with the figure. It is a heavy weight card, a night and day kind of difference from the slightly thicker cardboard of the cards from the last few lines (I don’t recall exactly when the card phenomena started) that shows the specifications on the reverse side. Apparently, the employ of a Titanmaster provides a boost to the larger robot’s stats, and in theory, if one Titanmaster were to bond to a different robot, the benefits of the Titanmaster would carry over. Skullcrunchers’ package claims that his Titanmaster partner provides Skullcruncher with some degree of stealth, and his collector card lists a Strength value of 10 for Skullcruncher by himself, a value to which Grax adds three points, for a total of 13. So, it seems that lore-wise, if Grax were to attach to some other Cybertronian, the coupling would provide some degree of stealth and a +3 bonus to the large robots’ strength.

Suddenly, the potential point of single packed head figures comes into focus a bit more: this Titanmaster grants invisibility, and this one greater speed, and this one more intelligence; and suddenly, you have customizable Transformers, sort of.

Skullcruncher has perhaps the worst hips of any toy I’ve encountered in quite a while. They’re ball jointed hips that have thigh swivels directly beneath the ball joints, and for whatever reason, they are constantly popping off the figure. Even intended use motions such as transformation makes the legs come off in your hand. It is real annoying. The legs for some reason also will not balance the figure, so I have to bend the knees backwards into a basic chicken leg configuration in order to get the toy to stand straight. It’s hard to tell from a head on look, but from a side view it’s pretty stupid.

I just got back from Disneyworld, and boy am I tired of eating unattended children!

One thing I am surprised by is how tight the Titanmaster plugs into the larger robot. Generations Brainstorm was widely criticized as having a very loose connection in this matter, a problem exacerbated by the common need to shave down parts of the connection port and/or Headmaster so as to allow the head to be detached without tearing the tiny robot’s head off of its tiny body. The Titanmaster for Skullcruncher (“Grax”) fits solidly in the neck hole, and easily clicks in and out for stability and, more importantly, a fairly seamless appearance of a robot with a head on its shoulders. The head can turn all the way around if you wanted it to, but it looks like it’s permanently attached rather than being a head on a stick or other such bad look. This was a big concern of mine coming in to this series, particularly in the case of figures I might want but who aren’t traditionally Headmasters: for the usual Headmaster suspects, it could be forgiven that they look like robots with a separate head, because they always have been; but what about characters whose figures I like, or the probably inevitable Starscream from the line? Would they suffer for this gimmick? The answer would appear to be no.

By now, updated “Classics” figures are nothing new, and Skullcruncher here is no exception to that. He’s a good, satisfying toy. He looks good, he feels pretty good: not exactly flimsy, but certainly not as sturdy as some of the Combiner Wars figures were.

Truly, the greatest value in a figure like Skullcruncher, provided you’re not just dying for “Classics” Headmasters figures, is the learning experience he provides. A few days of futzing around with this toy and my thoughts on Titans Return as a toyline changed quite a bit. I at least understand now what the idea(s) here is with the countless head figures; I’ve had some of my concerns put to rest; but I am still approaching the line as a whole with a bit of skepticism in terms of how involved I’ll be getting with it. But I cannot deny that, now having handled a couple of Titans Return toys, I’m a lot more enthused about the line than I previously was. If Skullcruncher is any indication of what we can expect, this line may turn out to be a lot more exciting than a lot of us have been anticipating, and that’s always a great thing.