Many, many years ago, a little boy was introduced to the
incredible concept of combining robots when, on an unassuming summer afternoon,
his grandmother took him to a store and bought him a Transformer. Well, it
wasn’t really a Transformer; it was one of the plentiful-at-the-time
transforming robot toys that was a Transformer, but not an official one,
released by some other company to try and capitalize on the toy phenomenon that
was Transformers in the early and mid-1980s. The toy was a red version of Hook,
stuffy Constructicon surgeon. It seems that that anecdote is particularly
appropriate here, with Dr. Crank, a not-a-real-Transformer version of Hook.
Representing the perpetually best character among the team,
Dr. Crank is running a dead heat race for the title of Simplest Transformation
among the Hercules squad, but that is not a bad thing. He is a very simple
figure, but he is incredibly effective at pretty much everything he has to do. Hook
was kind of the co-team leader, along with Scrapper: Scrapper ended up being
the commander in fiction, but by standard combiner rules, Hook, forming the
head/upper half of the torso, would have been in charge. Somewhere along the
fiction road an explanation was authored that stated Hook’s general personality
and snooty perfectionism made the other Constructicons follow Scrapper’s lead
instead.
The good doctor’s robot mode is pretty simple, in keeping
with the general Hercules aesthetic, but it is a very strong robot mode.
Poseable on the same level as any of the other figures, but maybe closest to
Structor in overall terms, Dr. Crank appears very tall and slender. In reality,
he’s no larger than his five teammates, but the figure is thin from front to
back, and that somehow makes him seem taller. He is the beautiful Constructicon
color scheme of toxic waste green and purple, and his green seems very strong. Most of the bulk for this toy, regardless of
mode, is contained in the large, extendable crane, mounted on the back in robot
mode. This piece is most noteworthy in vehicle mode, not doing much more in
robot mode that simply hang off the back. It is removable, and is truly only
necessary in vehicle mode, but it does add to the look of the robot mode which
would frankly be rather plain without it. It does not contain joints to allow
it to bend scorpion tail-like over the shoulders, so the crane just hangs off
the rear, and counteracting the added weight which pulls the figure backwards
by providing a stabilizer. The legs are like Structors, down to even the purple
planks that fold out from the inner legs to create more surface area for the
figure to balance on. This is especially valuable when the crane arm is
attached. The arms have elbow joints and bicep swivels, but no wrist swivels.
This is not a big deal. That ends up being basically it in terms of joints;
there’s no waist swivel, but there is a waist joint of sorts that allows the
figure to fold in half sideways in order to form the shoulders of Hercules,
which cuts the robot in half, thus making it not a very plausible posing
option. The figure looks like Hook from the G1 animation, and honestly is the
most successful Hook since G1. Because Devastator, not even the Constructicons
individually, has been a part of so many toy lines over the years, there have
been a number of figures called “Hook,” but name reuse is not the same as there
being a new figure. Dr. Crank truly manages to be a new yet accurate
representation of the original look, just like Structor, and that makes Dr.
Crank a win of a toy all by itself. The head is the Hercules team standard of
the G1 version with some extra translucent red plastic, just enough to make it
look just different enough from the G1 without making it totally different from
the G1. The weapon is the basic purple blob part that the other team members
have. 
Vehicle mode is the part that makes appreciation for the
overall toy bloom. A crane, again with most of the mass coming in the form of
the large, extending crane arm. The arm swivels 360 degrees, and can stand up
at almost a 90 degree angle. The arm is comprised of two smaller, sliding arms,
which extend to a length of 35 inches. This is a bit excessive, but the crane
arm can be removed and wielded as a bludgeoning weapon for the combined
Hercules, so it makes sense that in that form, it would have to be very large.
And that’s basically it for the vehicle mode. The part that causes an increase
in appreciation for the whole comes from the fact that the vehicle is very thin
from top to bottom. It is essentially a thin rectangle, yet the vehicle mode is
realistic and strong, the robot mode is great, and it contributes to the
overall combined form well. Perhaps because each element of Dr. Crank is rather
simple, each element of Dr. Crank is successful. As with the other team members
examined so far, Dr. Crank’s vehicle mode is fun, again reminiscent of the Armada/Energon/Cybertron era of official
product. If there is a flaw in the vehicle mode, it has to be the clearly
visible Hercules head located smack in the middle. It is obscured by the crane
arm to a reasonable extent, and does not interfere with either vehicle or robot
modes, but it is not hidden very well. This is really only an issue if it’s an
issue to you.
In both robot and vehicle modes, Dr. Crank reminds of Cybertron Mudflap, an example of which
is not included in the Coffin Collection for comparison purposes. But from
pictures and memory, Mudflap is a similar long and flat crane that transforms
into a similar slender and taller looking than it really is robot. Dr. Crank is
smaller than Mudflap, and Mudflap is not part of a combiner team, but the
similarities between the two is certainly present.
Dr. Crank may be the best figure out of the set, although
Structor and the final release Mad Blender may take issue with that. As an all-around
toy, Dr. Crank is fun and satisfying. If your collection was just looking for a
modern day G1 Hook, Dr. Crank would do just fine. But with Dr. Crank, it is
more obvious than with any of the other member of the team that the real
purpose of this figure, and by extension the other five, is to merge into
Hercules. That is not to say that Dr. Crank is limited or pointless on his own,
no: it is just that the presence of the Hercules head, the only integrated
combiner part in the set of six toys, is something that can be overlooked but
not ignored. The head can be removed, but this results in a gap in the center
of the vehicle mode, the scooped out plastic intended to cover the head as well
as can be expected. While Exgraver telegraphs that he’s part of a set by his
general blandness, and Structor does so with the unmistakable presence of a
combiner port, Dr. Crank’s obvious membership is not as easily ignored. Not to
say that the full set would be a must, or that Dr. Crank could not be enjoyed
on his own. That little boy whose grandmother bought him Hook all those years
ago loves Dr. Crank because Dr. Crank is Hook, only in modern form.
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| "Nobody would follow an uncharismatic bore like you!" |
In case anyone was curious whatever happened to that little
kid, that Hook introduced him to the most incredible part of the Transformers
mythos: the combiner. Over the years of his youth he’d gather a few other
combiner figures, but never a full combiner, not until he began collecting as
an adult. Then, he’d just never look back, as combiners had long since been his
most favorite part of a fiction that includes plenty of bizarre or incredible
concepts and characters. He would spend so much time and money over the years
on other combiner figures, and eventually that would come to haunt his wife.
He’d always be a little disappointed that Hasbro never honestly tried to remake
Hook, instead just nameslapping him whenever there was a new Devastator, or
being particularly irked when there was never a Hook repaint from the
previously mentioned Cybertron Mudflap.
That one was so easy; it was right there. Dr. Crank makes that little boy feel
better about all of the missed opportunities.
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