Child Sized Coffin: December 2017

Sunday, December 24, 2017

Happy Holidays from the Child Sized Coffin!

The Coffin is going to be taking a break for a few days. We're traveling abroad and won't be back until the first week of January, and once we get back it'll probably take a few days to get back in the swing of writing. There's a lot of good stuff coming that we just ran out of time on this year, despite our best efforts.

I know we've recently been informed that we could say "Merry Christmas" "again," despite my having no memories from the last 39 years wherein we were not allowed to say that, for any reason, but delusion is a very, very powerful thing. I've always wished people "Happy Holidays" because, since I am not a child, either physically, emotionally, or mentally, I am aware of the fact that there are several different holidays taking place at this time of the year, and I'm not that interested in forcing anyone to acknowledge one made-up tradition over any other made up tradition. I suppose if you're super upset by that, think of all you'll be able to do with the time you save following one less blog on the Internet!

2017 was the biggest year in the Coffins' brief history, and I hope to continue with a strong and content-filled 2018.We've got a whole lot of figures that just didn't make the cut time wise this year, and so we ought to be able to get back in January with some articles fairly quickly.

So, from the Coffin family to yours, Happy Holidays, whichever they are for you, and we'll see you in 2018. Hopefully things will be better then. It's hard to imagine that they can get much worse.

Friday, December 22, 2017

Mass Burial: Squalus, The Great Fish

I don’t remember when, because Life often moves too fast for my mind to grasp the good parts tightly enough to crystallize them into memories these years. There was an announcement that some of the members of the great Giant Squid were putting together a project that would use samples from the 1975 meisterwerk Jaws, the movie that invented the concept of the summer blockbuster, as well as a movie that has clearly been an enormous inspiration for the members of Giant Squid. The initial announcement made it seem that this new band, dubbed Squalus, was going to use sample, samples, like they did on “Eating Machine” from Metridium Fields. So, my understanding of this new project was a bunch of songs like “Eating Machine”. And while “Eating Machine” does appear in altered form on The Great Fish, I was totally unprepared for what this record really was.

Minoans is the last Giant Squid record, in that it is the last record these musicians would release under this name. This is a good combination of the song composition and content that the band has always offered, but largely loses the sludgy lurch of their earlier works.

And that is a quality of this band that I have always really, really appreciated, so to have it mostly disappear is a little bit of a personal let down. Not to say that the band has lost its magic, as that is something that was always provided by the compositions and their atmospheric moments; but the Giant Squid of Metridium Fields and the heavier moments of The Ichthyologist will always be preferable to me to the cleaner, more polished Giant Squid of Cenotes and Minoans. But enough, lest I become That Guy, eager to disparage the modern output in favor of toasting unnecessarily again the old. It is the absence of sonic density that causes the musical density to be somewhat overlooked, at least by myself somewhat regularly.

TFC Toys Ares: Aethon

The fourth member of the Ares squad is Aethon, a third party Tantrum, again named for one of the fire breathing horses that pull the chariot of Ares in Greek mythology. Aethon is a general reuse of the Conabus mold, with some slight differences.

(Apologies for blurry picture. I only realized now that after I wiped the lens, I never retook a picture of Aethon as the ‘cover’ photo. I am sorry. – mr)

Transformers: Titans Return Overlord

The Titans Return Leader class felt particularly empty, despite having several entries. The only other Leader from this line that the Coffin experienced is the rather pedestrian SixShot, although the Powermaster Prime was on the radar for quite some time, but was never found at what was considered to be an acceptable price. Oh well.

Overlord is the end of many things. He is the end of the Titans Return line for the Coffin. He is the last toy that came out of that large box of early November online purchases. There was an online buy yesterday morning that proved this wrong, but Overlord could have been a very last as well. But never mind those things, let’s talk about Overlord.

Transformers: Titans Return Twintwist

Over the summer, fellow Jumpstarter Topspin was granted the title of Should Be A Great Figure, But Is Rather Bland. The idea was floated that perhaps once teammate Twintwist showed up, Topspin’s property value would increase. In early November, a package arrived at Coffin HQ containing the last four desired Titans Return toys, and one of them was Twintwist. So, does the presence of one validate the other?

Cenotes is an EP that showcases one particular thing that has been part of the Giant Squid repertoire from the beginning, but given the sheer amount of things happening musically, can often be overlooked. From the opening seconds of the record, a strong Middle Eastern influence can be heard. And, it has been there all along, not a thing that has just surfaced for these five songs.

Grave Considerations: Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi Pre-Thoughts

Two years ago, we were introduced to an all-new story in the rich Star Wars universe, one that brought us new heroes and villains, and made us say goodbye to one of everyone’s heroes. It is currently Thursday afternoon, and as of this evening, the next installment of the new Star Wars trilogy, The Last Jedi, will land in theaters. The tension is mounting, and there is a real fear starting to swirl that being on the Internet is putting one in danger of encountering spoilers. Months of ignoring articles and news and ‘news’, only to have things spoiled this close to the first showing? Hell no.

We’re going to see it tonight, and I’ve begun to feel myself all aflutter. Once again, I’m worried, but this time, for some different reasons.

Transformers: Titans Return Slugslinger

The final updated Decepticon Targetmaster, Slugslinger is a figure that released at the very end of the line, and was the singular new figure in his Wave. Strange, as there were clearly additional Titans Return figures produced, like Arcee and Grotusque, which were then released as convention exclusives. That’s too bad from the Coffin’s perspective at least, because both of those other figures would have ended up on the shopping list were they not carrying convention price tags and limited availability. Oh well. On topic, Slugslinger is another remolding of Triggerhappy, so much of the book on the figure has already been written. But let us take a gander at the things that make Slugslinger different.

The Ichthyologist picks up exactly where Metridium Field leaves off, with a slower, hypnotic track in “Panthalassa”. And what a way to start their second full length. An album that holds a special place in my heart, although a different one from the spot occupied by Metridium Field, The Ichthyologist has a dense and unsettling atmosphere about it that can, at certain times, be downright suffocating.

FansProject Saurus: Dinogo

It would seem that the final two Ryu-Oh figures are in short supply among etailers. While the first four are regularly spotted on sale, the last two are only rarely found at all. This copy of Dinogo was the last one in stock at TFSource.

Both Dinogo and final team member Dinoroku will share the same mold, but will sport differences significant enough to make them two very separate toys. Dinogo is the third party version of Dinoforce member Doryu, who in the American G1 canon was Skowl.

Almost a month ago now, it was determined that the final Titans Return figures on the shopping list were probably not going to turn up at retail, and so it would probably be best to order them online. Now, with Power of the Primes figures starting to appear in the Chicago area, it seems that that decision was the correct one. One of the updated Decepticon Targetmasters, Misfire was often searched for on Target runs or post-work shopping jaunts, but was never seen in the wild.

Misfire is a repaint and reworking of the outstanding Wave Three Triggerhappy, and while some similarities are obvious, it does feel that Misfire has been changed up enough to not be a simple, lazy repaint. The transformation has been simplified a little bit – that amazing torso spin step has been removed – and the result is a figure that feels less complex than Triggerhappy does. This is not really a negative, and in truth, there is one more use of this mold that simplifies things even more and really, really feels that way.

November was the busiest month in the lifespan of the Coffin. Not sure if December can match it, but there are some pressing matters of The Last Jedi releasing very soon, and there being some figures from said toyline that need to be dealt with, preferably before seeing the movie.

One of these figures is the First Order Praetorian Guard, already touched on in the Elite Guards Exclusive four pack, and presented here in two additional parts, one of them an exclusive. To date, there have been three versions of the Praetorian Guard released, and only one of them has been released to mass retail. At first glance, the differences are merely found in the accessories each one carries; but upon further inspection, all three have different helmets, as well as different accessories. Beyond that, they are the same figures.

Grave Considerations: Where Do We Go From Here?

This is begun at the end of a busy day, and a complicated unboxing of some really fabulous new figures, and in the first hours of the post-semester world, so there is a real chance that it will be rambling and nonsensical. Maybe.

TFC Toys Ares: Conabus

The third member of the TFC Toys Predacons is Conabus, named after one of the four fire-breathing horses that draw Ares’ war chariot in Greek mythology. His name is the Greek word for tumult, and it is thus fitting that Conabus is the analog to Headstrong in the official mythos.

Ultimately, the Ares team is composed of two general molds, and Conabus is the first exposure of the second mold. Nemean, Phlogeus, and Phobos all share basically the same body, while Conabus and Aethon share the other. Conabus converts between robot and rhinoceros modes, and is probably the better of the two molds that comprise the team.

Metridium Fields is the first full length record from the outstanding Giant Squid, and it is an absolute titan of an album. This album has an interesting and somewhat tragic history, having been the band’s debut prior to Monster in the Creek, but then being rerecorded and rereleased after that EP. I’m not going to get into the bizarre story here, but I suppose if you’re interested in a band that wasn’t going to let life get in the way of them releasing their vision, it’s worth looking into.

The record is eight total tracks, with one being a sub-one minute interlude (“Eating Machine”), one being an eerie intro piece (“Megaptera in the Delta”) , and six pretty lengthy masterworks. I kind of don’t want to just go track to track, because I feel that wouldn’t be very interesting to read; but if there was an album that really warranted that type of scrutiny, it would certainly be this one. So, let’s do it, I guess. I have already realized that this is going to be the album that I will gush about most over the course of this Mass Burial, so I might as well not try to restrain myself when I know it is futile.