Child Sized Coffin: 2017

Sunday, December 24, 2017

Happy Holidays from the Child Sized Coffin!

The Coffin is going to be taking a break for a few days. We're traveling abroad and won't be back until the first week of January, and once we get back it'll probably take a few days to get back in the swing of writing. There's a lot of good stuff coming that we just ran out of time on this year, despite our best efforts.

I know we've recently been informed that we could say "Merry Christmas" "again," despite my having no memories from the last 39 years wherein we were not allowed to say that, for any reason, but delusion is a very, very powerful thing. I've always wished people "Happy Holidays" because, since I am not a child, either physically, emotionally, or mentally, I am aware of the fact that there are several different holidays taking place at this time of the year, and I'm not that interested in forcing anyone to acknowledge one made-up tradition over any other made up tradition. I suppose if you're super upset by that, think of all you'll be able to do with the time you save following one less blog on the Internet!

2017 was the biggest year in the Coffins' brief history, and I hope to continue with a strong and content-filled 2018.We've got a whole lot of figures that just didn't make the cut time wise this year, and so we ought to be able to get back in January with some articles fairly quickly.

So, from the Coffin family to yours, Happy Holidays, whichever they are for you, and we'll see you in 2018. Hopefully things will be better then. It's hard to imagine that they can get much worse.

Friday, December 22, 2017

Mass Burial: Squalus, The Great Fish

I don’t remember when, because Life often moves too fast for my mind to grasp the good parts tightly enough to crystallize them into memories these years. There was an announcement that some of the members of the great Giant Squid were putting together a project that would use samples from the 1975 meisterwerk Jaws, the movie that invented the concept of the summer blockbuster, as well as a movie that has clearly been an enormous inspiration for the members of Giant Squid. The initial announcement made it seem that this new band, dubbed Squalus, was going to use sample, samples, like they did on “Eating Machine” from Metridium Fields. So, my understanding of this new project was a bunch of songs like “Eating Machine”. And while “Eating Machine” does appear in altered form on The Great Fish, I was totally unprepared for what this record really was.

Minoans is the last Giant Squid record, in that it is the last record these musicians would release under this name. This is a good combination of the song composition and content that the band has always offered, but largely loses the sludgy lurch of their earlier works.

And that is a quality of this band that I have always really, really appreciated, so to have it mostly disappear is a little bit of a personal let down. Not to say that the band has lost its magic, as that is something that was always provided by the compositions and their atmospheric moments; but the Giant Squid of Metridium Fields and the heavier moments of The Ichthyologist will always be preferable to me to the cleaner, more polished Giant Squid of Cenotes and Minoans. But enough, lest I become That Guy, eager to disparage the modern output in favor of toasting unnecessarily again the old. It is the absence of sonic density that causes the musical density to be somewhat overlooked, at least by myself somewhat regularly.

TFC Toys Ares: Aethon

The fourth member of the Ares squad is Aethon, a third party Tantrum, again named for one of the fire breathing horses that pull the chariot of Ares in Greek mythology. Aethon is a general reuse of the Conabus mold, with some slight differences.

(Apologies for blurry picture. I only realized now that after I wiped the lens, I never retook a picture of Aethon as the ‘cover’ photo. I am sorry. – mr)

Transformers: Titans Return Overlord

The Titans Return Leader class felt particularly empty, despite having several entries. The only other Leader from this line that the Coffin experienced is the rather pedestrian SixShot, although the Powermaster Prime was on the radar for quite some time, but was never found at what was considered to be an acceptable price. Oh well.

Overlord is the end of many things. He is the end of the Titans Return line for the Coffin. He is the last toy that came out of that large box of early November online purchases. There was an online buy yesterday morning that proved this wrong, but Overlord could have been a very last as well. But never mind those things, let’s talk about Overlord.

Transformers: Titans Return Twintwist

Over the summer, fellow Jumpstarter Topspin was granted the title of Should Be A Great Figure, But Is Rather Bland. The idea was floated that perhaps once teammate Twintwist showed up, Topspin’s property value would increase. In early November, a package arrived at Coffin HQ containing the last four desired Titans Return toys, and one of them was Twintwist. So, does the presence of one validate the other?

Cenotes is an EP that showcases one particular thing that has been part of the Giant Squid repertoire from the beginning, but given the sheer amount of things happening musically, can often be overlooked. From the opening seconds of the record, a strong Middle Eastern influence can be heard. And, it has been there all along, not a thing that has just surfaced for these five songs.

Grave Considerations: Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi Pre-Thoughts

Two years ago, we were introduced to an all-new story in the rich Star Wars universe, one that brought us new heroes and villains, and made us say goodbye to one of everyone’s heroes. It is currently Thursday afternoon, and as of this evening, the next installment of the new Star Wars trilogy, The Last Jedi, will land in theaters. The tension is mounting, and there is a real fear starting to swirl that being on the Internet is putting one in danger of encountering spoilers. Months of ignoring articles and news and ‘news’, only to have things spoiled this close to the first showing? Hell no.

We’re going to see it tonight, and I’ve begun to feel myself all aflutter. Once again, I’m worried, but this time, for some different reasons.

Transformers: Titans Return Slugslinger

The final updated Decepticon Targetmaster, Slugslinger is a figure that released at the very end of the line, and was the singular new figure in his Wave. Strange, as there were clearly additional Titans Return figures produced, like Arcee and Grotusque, which were then released as convention exclusives. That’s too bad from the Coffin’s perspective at least, because both of those other figures would have ended up on the shopping list were they not carrying convention price tags and limited availability. Oh well. On topic, Slugslinger is another remolding of Triggerhappy, so much of the book on the figure has already been written. But let us take a gander at the things that make Slugslinger different.

The Ichthyologist picks up exactly where Metridium Field leaves off, with a slower, hypnotic track in “Panthalassa”. And what a way to start their second full length. An album that holds a special place in my heart, although a different one from the spot occupied by Metridium Field, The Ichthyologist has a dense and unsettling atmosphere about it that can, at certain times, be downright suffocating.

FansProject Saurus: Dinogo

It would seem that the final two Ryu-Oh figures are in short supply among etailers. While the first four are regularly spotted on sale, the last two are only rarely found at all. This copy of Dinogo was the last one in stock at TFSource.

Both Dinogo and final team member Dinoroku will share the same mold, but will sport differences significant enough to make them two very separate toys. Dinogo is the third party version of Dinoforce member Doryu, who in the American G1 canon was Skowl.

Almost a month ago now, it was determined that the final Titans Return figures on the shopping list were probably not going to turn up at retail, and so it would probably be best to order them online. Now, with Power of the Primes figures starting to appear in the Chicago area, it seems that that decision was the correct one. One of the updated Decepticon Targetmasters, Misfire was often searched for on Target runs or post-work shopping jaunts, but was never seen in the wild.

Misfire is a repaint and reworking of the outstanding Wave Three Triggerhappy, and while some similarities are obvious, it does feel that Misfire has been changed up enough to not be a simple, lazy repaint. The transformation has been simplified a little bit – that amazing torso spin step has been removed – and the result is a figure that feels less complex than Triggerhappy does. This is not really a negative, and in truth, there is one more use of this mold that simplifies things even more and really, really feels that way.

November was the busiest month in the lifespan of the Coffin. Not sure if December can match it, but there are some pressing matters of The Last Jedi releasing very soon, and there being some figures from said toyline that need to be dealt with, preferably before seeing the movie.

One of these figures is the First Order Praetorian Guard, already touched on in the Elite Guards Exclusive four pack, and presented here in two additional parts, one of them an exclusive. To date, there have been three versions of the Praetorian Guard released, and only one of them has been released to mass retail. At first glance, the differences are merely found in the accessories each one carries; but upon further inspection, all three have different helmets, as well as different accessories. Beyond that, they are the same figures.

Grave Considerations: Where Do We Go From Here?

This is begun at the end of a busy day, and a complicated unboxing of some really fabulous new figures, and in the first hours of the post-semester world, so there is a real chance that it will be rambling and nonsensical. Maybe.

TFC Toys Ares: Conabus

The third member of the TFC Toys Predacons is Conabus, named after one of the four fire-breathing horses that draw Ares’ war chariot in Greek mythology. His name is the Greek word for tumult, and it is thus fitting that Conabus is the analog to Headstrong in the official mythos.

Ultimately, the Ares team is composed of two general molds, and Conabus is the first exposure of the second mold. Nemean, Phlogeus, and Phobos all share basically the same body, while Conabus and Aethon share the other. Conabus converts between robot and rhinoceros modes, and is probably the better of the two molds that comprise the team.

Metridium Fields is the first full length record from the outstanding Giant Squid, and it is an absolute titan of an album. This album has an interesting and somewhat tragic history, having been the band’s debut prior to Monster in the Creek, but then being rerecorded and rereleased after that EP. I’m not going to get into the bizarre story here, but I suppose if you’re interested in a band that wasn’t going to let life get in the way of them releasing their vision, it’s worth looking into.

The record is eight total tracks, with one being a sub-one minute interlude (“Eating Machine”), one being an eerie intro piece (“Megaptera in the Delta”) , and six pretty lengthy masterworks. I kind of don’t want to just go track to track, because I feel that wouldn’t be very interesting to read; but if there was an album that really warranted that type of scrutiny, it would certainly be this one. So, let’s do it, I guess. I have already realized that this is going to be the album that I will gush about most over the course of this Mass Burial, so I might as well not try to restrain myself when I know it is futile.

Star Wars: The Black Series Inferno Squad Trooper

Two years ago the Thanksgiving holiday was spent intensely playing Star Wars Battlefront. This year, Battlefront II has been taking up a significant portion of the break. Seemed like a good time to talk about this Gamestop exlcusive game tie in figure.

Star Wars: MAFEX Stormtrooper

Not much is known in these parts about the higher end Star Wars figure lines. Spotted on multiple occasions at C2E2 or among the pages of online retailers, there has been a general curiosity and appreciation for the offerings of lines such as MAFEX, but official forays into them had never happened until very recently.

Here’s something that’s a little different. There has been a vein of the third party mine that has focused on making small, Legends scale figures as opposed to the larger variety. As an idea, this has been one that has been well received, and one that at times has piqued Coffin interests as well. One such company is Iron Factory, and when their TFCon USA 2017 exclusive Sunstorm repaint of their Starscream was announced, it seemed like as good a time as any to jump in to this area of third party merchandise.

So, Iron Factory’s Legend scaled Starscream is called Tyrant, and the other Seekers fall under the group moniker of Tyrant’s Wings. Sunstorm, as established by the Dreamwave G1 continuity, was a religious zealot who identified Starscream as his brother, so it kinda makes some sense that here, in the unofficial realm, that would translate to Clone.

Kinda.

Mass Burial: Giant Squid, Monster in the Creek

So, I got a request for this Mass Burial. Maybe a suggestion would be more accurate. My ten year anniversary of my relationship with my wife is rapidly approaching, and in the time leading up to our dating, I had been investing a lot of time in the band Giant Squid, a now defunct progressive sludge outfit from California. Not entirely defunct, so much as they have morphed into an incredibly similar “new” band with a different name: Squalus.

Thanatos was the second member of the Hades team to be released, and was the second to last member of the Hades team to be obtained. He is the analog for Killbison on the team, transforms into a tank, serves as a leg, and is the same body in both modes as Hypnos. Symmetry.

Grave Considerations: Apple Music

Your boy Moby Richard is notoriously slow to embrace new technology. It was 2012 when he decided to move on to the iPod and ditch the giant CD wallet that was always under the driver seat of his car. The early stages of iPod acceptance were not pretty, as technological misunderstandings and a general sense of frustration with things he doesn’t understand really, really overwhelmed him. But man, did he end up loving that iPod. 148 gigs of music, in his pocket.

Shift in forward in time (and in pronoun) to 2017, and my iPod was starting to cause me more stress than I wanted. It was getting old, and it had been host to many, many albums that were added and removed again and again, and I’d read online that Apple had discontinued the model (the 160gb iPod Classic), which meant that if something happened to mine, I was going to be without my massive music menagerie until I found what would undoubtedly be an inferior replacement option. See, I’m a creature of habit. I don’t so much resist or oppose new things or new technology so much as I find something I like and stick with it because I like it; it’s comfortable. My father, he hated technology, and basically decided against ever even trying to learn how to use it. My sister, who is younger than I for what it’s worth, shuts down at the possibility of technology, preferring to act like a senior citizen from the days of old, decrying new things as crap and bemoaning their adoption by and into society. My dad died without knowing how to operate a DVD player; my sister gets angry because Blu-Ray has replaced DVD. I guess being technophobic runs in my family. But I’m not against technology, I just like what I like, and I stick with what I know and what is comfortable.

TFC Toys Hercules: Neckbreaker

Neckbreaker is the first of the Hercules set that feels not so great. The TFC Toys analog for Bonecrusher, this figure shares a lot with Exgraver, but executes not as well.

By now, the general positives of the Hercules figures have been well documented. Fun. Good looking. Nice Cybertron aesthetic. Amusing to transform. Decently but not excessively posable. Neckbreaker exhibits all of those things. But he is a figure that generally disappoints.

This is an exciting review. It marks the end of another Mass Burial project, one that introduced me to a band I was unfamiliar with and yielded a lot of positive exposure. It made me a fan of a new band, one that I had consciously ignored for many years. And, it concludes with a brand new album, released in 2017, so I can add another current year record to my list of things I’ve heard this year.

When I was looking up information on Ritual, I found a quote from vocalist Trevor Strnad where he says that, during the writing of said album, The Black Dahlia Murder just wanted to write the most-Black Dahlia Murder album that they possibly could. I would argue that the distinction of the band trying their best to write the most them record would go to Abysmal. Everything that you know and like or love (or hate) about this band in found in equal parts on this album.

Following the letdown (because I can’t think of anything else to call it) of Ritual, The Black Dahlia Murder returned with Everblack. And things got right back to where they were, which is good. This is a record that is much more like it for the band, and even as an admittedly casual listener, I appreciate this a whole lot more than I did the previous outing.

Everblack returns to all the things that made the first four albums so much fun to listen to. There’s nothing out of the ordinary or revolutionary going on here, but the speed and the riffs are back, the Swedeathness is back, the fun is back. Where Ritual was plodding and dull, Everblack returns to that formula of fast and fun that not only the early works, but Swedish Melodic Death metal in general, possesses.

Star Wars: The Black Series Elite Guards

It was extra hard to get a decent picture of the package. This was the best one....

In August, a package arrived containing the Black Series Imperial Guard. Pretty new at that time, the objective was to get a review of it posted as soon as was possible. Then time got scarce, and that obviously never happened. At the time, it was speculated that, with a little bit of repainting, the Imperial Guard could be turned into the blue Senate Guard from the Prequel Trilogy, and even better, the Shadow Guard from “The Force Unleashed” game. If you follow the Coffin, you know that these e-tail exclusive boxed sets are completely beloved around these parts, and never is an opportunity to purchase one missed. At various points in time, ideas for future ones have been floated, from a Clone Commander set (possibly less likely now that Cody, Gree, and Rex have all been released) to an ARC Trooper set, and probably a few others. In August, when the single Imperial Guard arrived, thoughts turned to a multipack of different colored guards. Then came Force Friday, and this set was announced, and it was clear that someone had sold out ol’ Moby Richards’ great idea. Either that, or ol’ Moby’s going to be getting a royalty check in the future. Maybe.

Transformers: Titans Return Quake

Quake was a figure that was greatly anticipated at the Coffin. A repaint of Wave 1’s Hardhead, Quake is a Decepticon tank. What’s not to love about that? The Titans Return line seems really light on Decepticons, so almost any such figures are welcome. Such is part of the motivation behind the scramble to find Misfire and Slugslinger, to not only complete the Targetmaster trio, but also to add some more bad guys to the roster of the line.

The figure itself has mostly been covered already, and so outside of paint and face differences there isn’t a whole lot to say. But much like wavemate Krok, Quake came along at a time (and a Walgreens) when new figures were fairly scarce, and since he was on the shopping list anyway, was an easy pickup to make.

Titans Return Krok is a repaint of Skullcruncher with a new head. Thank you for reading.

Waiting for the last two Waves of Titans Return toys has been absolutely agonizing. This Wave, which also contained Kup, Perceptor, Topspin and Quake, first appeared in this area over the summer. It took forever for the entire Wave to appear, and even now, in November, it is rare at local retail. Like many of the early figures in this line, Krok was found and purchased at a Walgreens, a beneficiary of that “haven’t found figures in ages, so must buy this one” impulse.

Mass Burial: The Black Dahlia Murder, Ritual

Boy, you think you have a band figured.

Happy Halloween!

Saturday, October 28, 2017

TFC Toys Ares: Phlogeus

In Greek mythology, Phlogeus was one of four horses gifted to twin demigods by Hermes and Hera. Since TFC Toys has adopted a Greek mythology naming scheme, Phlogeus is also the name of their version of G1 Predacon Rampage, who, true to the mythological Phlogeus, transforms into a . . . tiger.

The fourth record by The Black Dahlia Murder, and another time where the same words and descriptions filter through my mind. Melodic Death metal. Gothenburg. Competent. I feel like this reminds me of X from year Y.

I kind of feel that I’m doing the band a disservice.

But Deflorate is different, somehow. Deflorate offers some type of . . . difference.

Grave Considerations: Transformers Titans Return Final Thoughts/Power of the Primes Pre-Thoughts

In keeping with the age old tradition established at the end of Combiner Wars, I wanted to take some time and give a closing thought on the current Transformers toy line before its successor, Power of the Primes, launches . . . whenever it’s going to launch. Like its own predecessor, Titans Return has been a line of good things, and a line of infuriating distribution.

Dinoshi is the analog to G1 Pretender Monster Bristleback and Victory Dinoforce member Gairyu, and serves as the other arm of Ryu-Oh, opposite Dinoni. This is another rather slender figure, setting it apart from four of the other five team members. This takes a different approach to combiner limb figures, as most other combiners, official product or otherwise, maintain a generally uniform size among the four limb figures. It will be interesting to see how Ryu-Oh turns out in combined mode with arms that will be smaller than the legs.

This figure also kills a pretty long standing theory here at the Coffin, that of third party companies somehow not being capable of producing sliding parts, as the robot legs slide during transformation. Ok, we were wrong.

TFC Toys Hades: Cerberus

Cerberus is an interesting story. Half of the original pair of Hades figures obtained, this was the one out of the full set of six that was predetermined to be the weakest, least impressive one.

Boy, was that wrong.

At this point in the life of the Star Wars Black Series, there is no excuse to not have more Clone Commanders. Sure, there are only a few of them that have any actual character based on the films, but “The Clone Wars” show eventually offered characterization for so many Clones that it should not seem out of the realm of possibility that 6” figures of them be made. Revenge of the Sith offers us two Commanders who get names and dialogue, those being Cody and Gree. Cody was released some time ago; Gree here is a Toys R Us exclusive Force Friday release intended to help build hype for The Last Jedi.

Mass Burial: The Black Dahlia Murder, Nocturnal

The Black Dahlia Murder’s third album Nocturnal is the one that people seem to rave about. Or, at least, it is the album that other people have told me I would eventually appreciate most. Out of only three albums to this point, I’d say that I agree with all of them, but I fear that this article will prove something of a backhanded compliment.

TFC Toys Hercules: Dr. Crank

Many, many years ago, a little boy was introduced to the incredible concept of combining robots when, on an unassuming summer afternoon, his grandmother took him to a store and bought him a Transformer. Well, it wasn’t really a Transformer; it was one of the plentiful-at-the-time transforming robot toys that was a Transformer, but not an official one, released by some other company to try and capitalize on the toy phenomenon that was Transformers in the early and mid-1980s. The toy was a red version of Hook, stuffy Constructicon surgeon. It seems that that anecdote is particularly appropriate here, with Dr. Crank, a not-a-real-Transformer version of Hook.

Perceptor has always been a strange bird in the Transformers lineup. Introduced as a stuffy know it all with the totally useful and plausible alt mode of giant microscope, this was apparently too vague of a character, or more modern contributors to the mythology are Perceptor super fans, as in recent times, Perceptor has transformed from accidentally charismatic nerd to Wrecker, PTSD-addled sniper extraordinaire, now a hyper intelligent and logical killing machine. Because. Titans Return adds another credential to Perceptors’ CV by making him a Headmaster.

The second album from The Black Dahlia Murder takes on more of a traditional Death metal feel, still retaining the Swedeath vocal style but musically moving into a more solid, less hyperkinetic musical direction. This is not to say that’s a bad thing, as it works for the band and their style. Some Gothenburg elements are still present, but this time around, they are more accents or flourishes, as can be heard in “Statutory Ape”. Songs like “A Vulgar Picture” retain the Swedish much more obviously, but other songs do show signs of moving away from that. A super fast 33 minutes, Miasma does a lot of work in a pretty short time.

Grave Considerations: Quickly and Angrily, Back to the Transformers Live Action Movies.

A little while back, I wrote a piece on my dislike of thelive action Transformers movies. I wanted to revisit the topic, as I keep boring my wife with a shorter form of the following diatribe. As with most things in life, fans of the Transformers live action movies will point to certain metrics or values as proof of the quality and success of the five movie franchise: elements such as their being financially successful, or enjoyed in markets globally. They will defend the movies’ shortcomings with a set of formulaic yet not untrue qualities, all of which they will claim validate the poor or lacking qualities of the movies.

At this point, there have been so many Masterpiece Seekers released that it is difficult to find anything to say that could even give the appearance of being new, and the shame of that is that this condition accompanies Dirge, arguably the best looking of the Masterpiece Coneheads. Another repaint of the MP-11 Starscream mold with different wings and a cone head, Dirge, like Ramjet and Thrust, simultaneously offers excitement for being something new and a sense of fatigue and completion, having now finally reached the end (for now . . . ) of the molds’ tenure in the line. No other mold has given as much as this one, from the beginnings of the Masterpiece line until the present day. So, in a way, I’ve come here not to praise Masterpiece Dirge, but to bury him.

Grave Considerations: What Shall We Do With Widows?

I just picked up Titans Return Quake at a Walgreens. Yes, Walgreens. Because distribution for this line in Chicago has turned into absolute garbage. I have actually bought a number of Titans Return figures at Walgreens stores: Quake, Krok, Chromedome, Highbrow, Weirdwolf, and Brainstorm obviously, although that may not count, seeing as Brainstorm was only available at Walgreens. I’ve begun to wonder if I should even keep checking Targets and such for Misfire and Twin Twist. Anyway, that’s not the point of this: driving home after picking up Quake, the only Quake I have ever seen in a store, I got to thinking: with all of the Combiner Wars and Titans Return upgrades of G1 figures, what should I do with the actual G1 versions that I own? Do they still have that much value to me as a collector?

I have a friend who loves this band, but they’ve never really made much of an impression on me. In the early 2000s, The Black Dahlia Murder gained attention for being comprised of teenagers and playing what sounded like a fairly competent version of Swedeath, which, during those same early 2000s, was the sexy subgenre of Metal of the day. This was back in the day, those good old days, when a band full of younger people was viewed more often as being the future of a scene, or a sign that the scene was alive and communicating with the younger generation, or that the seeds of the future were beginning to sprout. You know, generally good things, unlike today, where a similar youthful band would be greeted with skepticism or scorn, cast off as sell outs or a corporate creation meant to capitalize and cash in. I heard this album back in the day, and saw the band open for Suffocation in early 2005, but was never all that impressed. My only real memory from the show was that they had to finish their set a song or two early because they had to be on their bus by curfew, because they were all underage at the time. The album never made an impression on me, and I’m not entirely sure why: during those years, Swedish melodeath was all the rage, and the titans of the form at the time (In Flames, Dark Tranquillity, ) were releasing good material; the corpse of At the Gates was still reasonably fresh, or at least, was in that stage of decomposition where mourners had at least seen it, unlike today, when recent album notwithstanding, most people talk about At the Gates as a band they’ve heard, and not one that was active not that long ago.

TFC Toys Ares: Nemean

Ares is the TFC Toys version of Predaking and the Predacons. The third G1 combiner from the company, Ares is a five member team, unlike the six members of Hercules. Each figure comes in a fairly standard window box, similar to those of the Hercules team members, and generally shares that Hercules aesthetic of the Cybertron-era of Hasbro figures.

Nemean is team leader and Ares torso third party analog of Razorclaw, named after the famous lion of Greek mythology with the impenetrable flesh that Hercules was tasked with taming. Transforming from robot to lion, Nemean is a lot larger than the other four Ares team members, and provides an interesting evolutionary step between figures that comprise Hercules and Hades, examples of TFC’s early and more modern offerings. There are a number of things to talk about, so where to start.

Star Wars: The Black Series First Order Executioner

Force Friday was last Friday, and that means that the official kickoff of new Star Wars merchandise season is upon us. New waves of Black Series figures, new waves of 3.75” figures and vehicles, and all the marvelous The Last Jedi plot details we can glean from them.

FansProject Saurus: Dinosan

Dinosan is actually the very first third party figure I purchased. He is the Ryu-Oh version of Rairyu, or Birdbrain, if you prefer the American Pretender Monsters to the Japanese Dinoforce.

While he was a great introduction to the third party world, Dinosan is a less than great individual figure. He serves as the crotch for the combined Ryu-Oh, and as such, both robot and monster modes suffer a bit. Primarily the robot mode.

Grave Considerations: Keeping the Boxes

Recently, Maz at the terrific TFSource blog documented his purging of boxes and packaging materials. I think this is an interesting topic to explore, so I thought I’d try working my way through it. I’m not an in-box collector, but like Maz, do hang on to some and certain boxes for a variety of reasons, and after an initial response of terror to what he was doing, I figured I should examine the idea myself.

I don’t keep many boxes, but the ones I do keep tend to be larger ones. Masterpiece figures for prime example come in real large, space-consuming boxes that are often much larger than they need to be to house the figure inside. Third party figures sometimes come in excellent packaging as well, yet nothing so far that can rival a Masterpiece box. Reissue or special edition figures may come in boxes that are considered worth holding on to. But I don’t display things in box, nor do I display boxes. So why keep them?

With this, my examination may begin. I don’t keep boxes for any display purpose, so why do I keep them? I’ve come up with three reasons: storage, resale value, and aesthetics. As I feel my chest tightening at the thought of throwing these boxes away, let’s see if I can find a good, rational reason to keep them.

Star Wars: The Black Series Darth Revan

Feels like forever since there's been any Star Wars figures here. Oh look!

Long loved in lore, Darth Revan is an Expanded Universe character who has gotten quite a lot of fiction over the years, but a very small number of physical incarnations. This might be the second one, the first being a Fan’s Choice entry in the 3.75” line and now impossibly expensive, and this one coming in the Black Series wave with the Imperial Snowtrooper and AT-AT Driver. Winner of a fan vote again, a practice of which the Coffin is always skeptical, Revan would end up being, if nothing else, a harbinger of things to come for The Black Series.

Grave Considerations: Third Party Brand Loyalty?

The first week of a new semester allows my thoughts to drift to the really important things in life: toys.

As the Coffin delves deeper and deeper into the 3^rd party transforming robot scene, it seemed like a good time to take a look at how that journey is progressing. To this point, the Coffin’s 3P focus has been on combiner teams, and then, ones that are no represented by official product. This is not out of some fealty to Hasbro, or anything like that: this has been the result of there not being official figures for these characters, or in the case of the Hercules team, no official product that appears worthwhile.

It is the end of August, 2017, and over the past almost year I have acquired 21 third party figures, two short of four complete Decepticon combiners. Hercules arrived all at once, and the Hades crew saw their two missing comrades arrive early last week. This past weekend brought the full complement of Ares, only briefly experienced but high on this weekend’s to-do list. Missing are the last two figures to complete Ryu-Oh, and those are up next on my hunt list. Of these 21 figures, only four of them are not from TFC Toys, and, as I start to scribble my shopping list for the next set of figures I’m after, I find myself pausing to ask what may be a fairly prescient question: why TFC Toys? Am I becoming a TFC brand loyalist? Should I be spreading out to other companies? Does this make me the same as the Hasbro loyalists that I routinely cast sideways glances at?

TFC Toys Hercules: Structor

It’s been a little while since a Hercules team member got the spotlight here, and in light of recent figure acquisition events, there is a growing fear that, if not completed soon, the rest of the Hercules dudes could be lost to enthusiasm over other, newer acquisitions. So, let’s take a gander at Structor, the Scrapper on the team.

Transformers: Titans Return Topspin

If G1 updates happen long enough, one of two things will eventually happen: either all G1 characters will be remade, or only some G1 characters will be remade a seemingly infinite number of times. While it usually does seem that the latter is true, there are signs that, for some reason, there is an effort to achieve the former. The slightly underwhelming yet generally excellent Titans Return Topspin is a testament to that.

Grave Considerations: The Live Action Transformers Movies

This summer. Get ready. Nothing can prepare you for close to three hours of explosions. Indecipherable CGI. Tragically unfunny improvised one-liners. Bad mugging for the camera. Explosions and car chases. Mangled storylines and entirely optional plot and character development. And explosions.

That’s right, another Transformers movie is sliding its’ way through Hollywood’s intestine, getting closer and closer to the sphincter of summer movie season! Transformers: The Last Knight is the fifth installment in the financially viable franchise, and marks the first time that Hasbro has decided to try and pretend that they think a unified narrative is a good thing. For years, since the release of the second plot starved movie, the official Hasbro party line has been that there was no overarching narrative, and that continuity amongst and between films was unimportant. Now, with the fifth installment, suddenly a “cinematic universe” will be established. Ten years and four movies too late. At least, mercifully, by mid-August The Last Knight is gone from theaters, having made substantially less money at the box office than was hoped.

TFC Toys Hades: Rhadamanthus

So behind are we here at the Coffin that we still have figures to review that were Christmas gifts. Here we are in August, and finally we’re going to get to a toy that we got in December??? Perhaps more shocking is that parts of my TFCon 2016 haul are still unevaluated. Well, we do have two weeks off between Summer and Fall semesters, so maybe we can close that gap a bit. I also need to hurry up with the Hades figures in general, because thanks to a Big Bad Toy Store sale in June, I’m expecting the last two figures to arrive at my door within the next week or two, so I’ll have the entire set.

Rhadamanthus is the Leozack analog for the TFC Toys Hades team, and oh man is he gorgeous. A really detailed and intricate mold, Rhadamanthus wears the teal and white color scheme of Leozack, and it really does look great. The head sculpt is also terrific, with a lion helmet surrounding a smirking, characterful face. Rhadamanthus is the group leader, as is Leozack, and that comes through in the figure. He looks like the leader of a combiner team, thanks to that face, which oozes confidence and ability.

Coffin Shaker: Katatonia, The Great Cold Distance

If there has been one album that has to this point defined my 2017, it would be Katatonia’s The Great Cold Distance. Another one of those albums that I heard long, long ago and mostly brushed off, something with this album clicked for me early in the year, and has not left me since. Katatonia began life as a doomy Death metal outfit from Sweden, the band morphed over time to a more moody, depressive rock, Gothic metal group, where they’ve done largely excellent work since. 2006 brought this album. I heard it back then and really liked a few of the songs, “My Twin” being the one that I truly remember, but ultimately panned the rest of the album without giving it too much thought.

Years later, in a fairly sullen mood, the wheel of my iPod stopped first on Katatonia, and then on this album. What happened next was really nothing short of magic.

Transformers: Titans Return Kup

By early August, I think I’m about as caught up on Wave 4 of Titans Return as I’m going to be. Classic poor distribution means I’ve seen figures from the wave like three times, and never all at once. I am really starting to worry about what this means for my prospects of ever finding a Misfire and Twintwist from the next wave. But, I did manage to find all three of the original molds from the wave, so let’s look at them, beginning with Kup.